Amahlaya amafushane kakhulu namasha ahlekisayo namahlaya angenangqondo

amahlaya ahlekisayo

• uDelphry ubuza ushekh othi umsebenzi wami uharam? Wathi kungani ungakholwa? Wathi akukho KFC.
• Ngesinye isikhathi, uSaeedi wathola i-cyber ethi ihora ngamaphawundi ayi-10. 
  Imali engenayo ecelayo woza ngokumelene namanzi?
• Amadolo ayisiphukuphuku athunjwe ama-Arab ancamela ukuvota .. 
  Wathi: Uzothula noma ngikwehlise? Amtshele ukuthi angathuli.
• Benza umklomelo wesigidi sopondo kulowo onezingane eziyi-10.   
  Indoda enezingane ezingu-XNUMX yatshela umkayo, “Ngangishade nawe, futhi nginendodana, kufanele ngihambe ngiyoyilanda?” Siqeda ishumi bese siwina umklomelo? Wahamba, wathi ebuya, wabuza umkakhe ukuthi baphi abantwana? Wamtshela wonke umndeni uyise wamthatha.
• Wake weba itshwele lakhe waya olwandle ukuze alihlanze futhi alidle.   
  Iphoyisa lafika lathi untshontshe inkukhu? Wathi cha mnumzane.. 
  Lathi iphoyisa nophaphe lolu?! Wathi ephuma eyogeza wathi angilungise izingubo.
• Kwake kwashada izalukazi ezimbili.. 
  Baye eclubini bathi umfana wokuqala owadlula, sithi.. 
  Futhi lapho ngaphandle oyedwa, omunye wabo wathi kuye: "Uzoshada nami, Amori?" Wathi kuye: Mina ngishada nenja ngeke ishade nawe! Wahamba owesibili wathi: Hohoho.

Chofoza lapha futhi ubuke amahlaya amnandi kakhulu ka-2019

Amahlaya ahlekisa kakhulu

• Umuntu, ngaphambi kokuba afe, waqoqa izingane zakhe ezintathu futhi wayefuna ukubaluleka ukuba bakhethe isandla esisodwa. 
  Wanika abadala babo induku, wayihlephula kalula. 
  Ngamnika amabili wawahlephula kalula futhi..   
  Wamnika izinti ezingamashumi amahlanu, wahlephula kalula.   
  Wabatshela ukuthi uma nje lo mnyuzi unani, akukho ukwesaba kini.
• Ngesinye isikhathi, wathi kumyeni wakhe, “Namuhla ngizibuke esibukweni, futhi ngizithole ngiyinyanga 14.” Ucabanga ukuthi lokhu kuwukuzikhukhumeza? Wathi cha, cha, yini le! Kusala umalume wami.

Ufuna ukufa uhleko? Bona ezingaphezu kuka-1000 amahlaya ahlekisayo

• Ngesinye isikhathi, lapho ecasulwe umkakhe, wambhalela ipheshana elithi, “Ngivuse ngo-6 ekuseni.” 
  Wavuka ngo-11 wathola ipheshana okwakubhalwe kulo ukuthi wavuka ngo-6.
• Lapho efika ekhaya ngemva kwesikhathi, umyeni wakhe wathi kuye: “Ubukuphi? Athi: Cha baba...ba... Bekunomuntu obengihlasela...   
  Wathi kuye: Umelene nawe, ulibele ngani? Wathi kuye: Imvelaphi yakhe yayihamba kancane....!
• Ngelinye ilanga waqhasha kakhulu wathi kumngane wakhe, ngihamba ogwadule, kwaqhamuka ibhubesi kimi futhi ngagxuma olwandle. 
  Umngane wakhe wamtshela ukuthi ulwandle luni, kodwa yini elisogwadule.   
  Wathi: Cha, ngithe: Ngibone iSphinx ilenga entanyeni yakhe.   
  Umngane wakhe wamtshela, "Kungani iSphinx ilethe ugwadule?" Wathi ngisahamba ehlane kwaqhamuka ibhubesi langidla.
  uphumule?

Chofoza lapha futhi ubuke amahlaya wakamuva waseGibhithe 2019

Funda amahlaya amafishane ayi-10 aphezulu

• Umuntu odakiwe wabiza indawo yokudlela wathi, "Unesidlo sakusihlwa?" Isisebenzi sokudlela saphendula, "Yebo."   
  Kuphendule isidakwa, kungani ungangimemanga?!
• Wake watshela umkakhe ukuthi akutshele ihlaya? Wathi akasho! Yakha iphuzu.. 
  Wathi kuye, "Hhayi, ngikhathele."   
  Wathi hey isahlukaniso.
• Ngesinye isikhathi, owayesephenduke, bambuza: Siyini isifiso sakho ekuphileni? Wathi: Ngibona umuntu ehamba yedwa.
• UMahshash ubuza ngomphumela womdlalo..
  Bathi kuye: zero zero.. 
  Wathi: Ubani owangena kuziro wokuqala?
• Kwangena iphela esuphamakethe, kungani liphume lijabule? Wazibona esekwiBeef Paf.
• Enye bayibiza ngethawula lamathe entombazane..
  kuye? Owabhodla kakhulu ebusweni bakhe. Okuningi amahlaya Ohlekisayo waseGibhithe, uzofa ngokuhleka
• Omunye wabo ungumlutha we-Internet, futhi baphoqeleka ukuthi bamnikeze isixhumanisi emthanjeni, futhi bamphuze baxoxe nobisi.
• Umuntu ungene ephethe isipuni enkundleni, ngani? Ukuhambisa umdlalo.

Amahlaya angasile

• I-Pepsi, ama-fries kanye ne-hamburger kuyagijima ngani? ukudla okusheshayo.
• Inkukhu yazibulala..
  Futhi wabhala encwadini yakhe yefa.
  Vumela uMaggie azuze.
• Isiphukuphuku samsola ngobuhlakani kwavela ukuthi umsulwa.
• Qhubeka ufunda amahlaya ahlekisayo kakhulu Ngiyawahleka amahlazo akho angitsheli muntu.

Chofoza lapha futhi ubuke amahlaya aseGibhithe efa ngenxa yokuhleka

Amahlaya aseGibhithe nama-Arabhu ahlekisa kakhulu

• Wonke umuntu oyedwa owela umgwaqo ubona umuntu ephuza ogwayi ababili.   
  Uyambuza-ke ukuthi kungani mina njalo uma ngidlula lapha ngikubona uphuza ogwayi ababili? Wathi, "Ekuqaleni, nganginomngane wami. Sesijwayele ukubhema ugwayi lapha, futhi lomngane wami wahamba.   
  Ngemva kwesikhashana, lo mngane wethu wambona ephuza ugwayi owodwa.   
  Wathi uphuzelani ugwayi owodwa?! Wathi ngiyiqhawe.
• Omunye wahlangana nomunye ogijima emgwaqeni, ngakho wambuza ukuthi ugijimani? Athi umkhwekazi ngimthengele uhhafu wekhilo lenhlanzi, wayidla iluhlaza, wakhubazeka phakathi!! Wathi, uzomthola udokotela? Wathi cha, ngizomtholela uhhafu wekilo wesibili.

Amahlaya ahlekisayo

• Wake wafuna ukuthenga amatshwele.. 
  Waya esitolo sezinkukhu wathi, Uxolo, ngifuna inkukhu. 
  Indoda yambuza, ufuna abe nempilo enhle noma enempilo? Wathi kulungile.. 
  Indoda yamtshela ukuthi aye esitezi sesibili.   
  Isitezi sesibili safika...   
  Omunye uthe ufuna inkukhu yonke noma inqunywe? Esho ehlehla.   
  Wathi, abheke esitezi sesithathu.   
  Kwaphuma umzuliswano wesithathu..   
  Enye indoda yambuza, ingabe ufuna inkukhu ibe cystic noma cha? Esho ngeqholo.. 
  Indoda yathi, "Bheka, asinayo inkukhu, kodwa ucabangani ngohlelo?"
• Amadoda amabili amakhulu, ngiwagwebela ukufa..   
  Qala uzibuze ukuthi yini? Ngabatshela ukuthi ngizobona umama.   
  Mbuze omunye ukuthi kuyini? Wabatshela ukuthi ngifisa ngingamvumeli ukuthi abone unina.

Chofoza lapha futhi ubuke amahlaya ahlekisayo e-Mahshashin

• Esikoleni, uthisha wezibalo ubuza umfundi wakhe: Ukube uyihlo waboleka inkulungwane yopondo ebhange nezinye eziyinkulungwane kumakhelwane wakho, ubezobuyisela izinkulungwane ezingaki? Umfundi: Akukho okuzobuya mnumzane. 
  UProfessor: ndodana uboleke inkulungwane, bese uboleka enye inkulungwane.   
  Mfundi: Akukho okuzobuya..   
  Solwazi: Hlala phansi ndodana awazi lutho ngezibalo.   
  Mfundi: Nguwena ongamazi ubaba uProfessor.
• Othile waqamba amaphilisi owesifazane okhulelwe ukuze umntwana osanda kuzalwa abe nesizotha, futhi wonke umuntu osanda kuzalwa wayenenhlonipho ngempela.   
  Omunye waphuza amaphilisi waphuza ukubeletha! Ngaya kudokotela ukuyohlinza.. 
  Wafumana iwele, lagoba, kwaba yilelo nalelo kwelinye, lathi kulo: “Qhubeka.” Neyesibili yathi kulo: “Qha, hamba;
• Ngesinye isikhathi isilima saya kudokotela siyobheka indodana yaso..   
  Udokotela wangena egunjini lokuhlola elinesigodi. 
  Ngemva kwekota yehora, kwaqhamuka udokotela watshela le ndoda ukuthi indodana yakho ishonile.   
  Umfanyana wakhuphuka wathi kuyise…. 
  Baba baba angifile baba..   
  Uyise wathi thula mfana, uzokwazi ukwedlula udokotela.

amahlaya Uyathimula ngokuhleka, bheka manje

• Iqembu labazingeli laphuma liyozingela, futhi njalo lapho libamba okuthile, izinja zabo ziyagijima ziyolanda inyamazane, ngaphandle kwenja eyodwa eyesaba umsindo wezinhlamvu.   
  Batshele umngani wakhe ukuthi amhambise emishadweni ashaywe wumlilo omkhulu, ukuze ajwayele izinhlamvu.   
  Ngemva kokuyithatha izinyanga eziyisi-6...   
  Waphinde wayozingela, wathi nje eshaya umlilo wenja, yaphinde yaqala ukukhonkotha.
• Wake wabuza uthisha ukuthi kuyenzeka yini ukuthi umuntu ajeziselwe into angayenzanga? Wathi cha kunjalo.
  Umfundi wajabula kakhulu wathi kuye, "Kulungile, angiwenzanga umsebenzi wesikole." amahlaya ahlekisayo Kakhulu, kakhulu, impela, yibuke manje endaweni yaseGibhithe
• Kwakuthi uma ingwe ibona unogwaja, iwushaye bese ithi kuye, "Kungani wena noDank nithathe isikhathi eside kangaka?" Unogwaja wakhononda ebhubesini. 
  Ibhubesi labuza ingwe lamtshela ukuthi uma ungafuni ukulishaya litshele ukuthi, "Ngitholele izaqathe, uma likuphathele izaqathe eziphuzi, uthi "Thola izaqathe ezibomvu," uma ethola izaqathe ezibomvu, tshela. kuye, "Nginike eziphuzi."   
  Ingwe yatshela unogwaja ukuthi ifuna izaqathi.   
  Unogwaja wambuza, obomvu noma ophuzi? Ingwe yamshaya yathi kuye, "Kungani ude kangaka?"
• Uthisha wabuza izingane ekilasini ezicabanga ukuthi uyisiphukuphuku ukuba zisukume.. 
  Ngemva kwesikhashana, umfundi wama. 
  Uthisha wambuza, “Kungani ucabanga ukuthi uyisiphukuphuku?” Umfundi uphendule wathi: Bengingafuni ukukubona umile wedwa, Solwazi. 
• Uthisha wabuza abafundi: Ubani onganginika amagama ezilwane ezihuquzelayo ezintathu?

Chofoza lapha futhi ubuke amahlaya aseGibhithe aqinile

Amahlaya amafushane

• Kukhona oyedwa (isikhohlakali) owashada….
  I-honeymoon isihambile.
• Umlimi wamnika isamosa..   
  Wayivula njengesipho.
• Ibhubesi lake ladla isalukazi kungani lalithanda ukunambitheka kwaso? Ngoba crispy. 
• Isikhulu saphuma ngesikhathi sokuthatha umhlalaphansi futhi savula isitolo samaswidi, asibiza ngokuthi i-Al-Torta, ukuze sikhonze abantu.
• mfundi ohlakaniphile ..
  Waphumelela esikoleni futhi waphuma kwesokuqala ....
  Bayibhala ngekhodi.
• Abantu abakhandwe ngamatshe bambuza: Kungani intamo yendlulamithi iyinde? Wathi: Mhlawumbe ngoba ikhanda lakhe likude.
• Wake wavela othandweni lwakhe lwamaselula..   
  Waletha intombazane wayiqamba ngokuthi uQembu.
• Ononya abafuna ukumhlukumeza..   
  Baklebhula i-rial phambi kwakhe.

Amahlaya angasile, kodwa uyahleka

• Bathi omunye womusa wakhe wagwinya amathe wadliswa ushevu.
• USeedi waya eGibhithe wawabona amashubhu, wayesethi, "Ngizothatha elilodwa."
• Umzingeli wothando uyadela..   
  Hlaba inhlanzi emkhosini. Buka okuhle kakhulu Mahshchin amahlaya
• Uthisha: Kungani uLwandle Olumnyama lubizwa ngaleli gama? Umfundi: Ngoba udabukile ngoLwandle Olufile.
• Iqembu lezintuthwane ezidlala ibhola nephela, ngani? umdlali wangaphandle.
• Eyokuqala: Kungani ubeka idanari ekhanda lakho? Okwesibili: ukuba nenhloko-dolobha.
• UMahshash, ephethe ipuleti lamaqanda, wabona ikhasi likabhanana ekupheleni komgwaqo wayesethi, “Awu sithandwa sami, amaqanda aphelile.”

Chofoza lapha futhi ubone izithombe ezinhle kakhulu ezibhalwe amahlaya ahlekisayo

• UMahshash bisal ubuza igama lakho eh ndodakazi? Wathi sthembiso.. 
  Wathi, Ngifunga kuNkulunkulu, ngeke ngitshele muntu. 
• Omunye wathi: Kungani uphonsa izipikili emanzini? Wathi: Ukuze abe amanzi amaminerali.
• Ama-misers amahlanu angena esitolo sekhofi! Bacela inkomishi yejusi nezinti ezinhlanu.
• Ohloniphekile washada nohloniphekile.
  Bafika nomfana..   
  Banikeze omakhelwane.
• Uthisha: Isiphi isilwane esikuvusa njalo ekuseni? Umfundi: Umfowethu omncane.
• Kunemvu ethengisiwe..   
  misa itekisi..   
  Wathi isilaha esiseduze ngicela.
• Umfana: Ngazalelwa eNingizimu Melika.
  Umngane: Yimuphi umnyango? Boy: Hhayi-ke.
• UMahshash wafonela ambulance wathi inamba iyadayiswa?!!
• Ntokazi: Usihlanzile isiqandisi? Incekukazi: Uhlanzeke kahle nkosikazi, yonke into engaphakathi ibimnandi.
• U-Badawi waya ngosuku lokuzalwa lomngane wakhe..   
  Ngemuva kokuthi umcimbi usuphelile... 
  Wathi: Nginosuku lwakho lokuzalwa kusasa.
• Uthando luzofika kuwe emva kwamashumi amane.   
  Well thank God Hunt.. 
  Cha, amashumi amane esibili, u-Abu Qasr 
• Sawubona, angikwazi ukuza emsebenzini namuhla.. 
  kuye? Induku yemaski yaphuka. 
• Angikaze ngikwenze inhlekisa ngaphambi kwalokho? oh kakhulu..   
  Kungani uphatheke kabi ngalesi sikhathi?! 
• Futhi wena, yini ithalenta lakho? Ngitshela abalungile futhi ngenze okubi. 

Chofoza lapha futhi ubuke amahlaya amnandi kakhulu ka-2019

Amahlaya amasha 2020

• Omunye wabanqonqozayo wezwa sengathi kukhona okwenzekayo ebuchosheni bakhe.   
  Uzizwa kanje uma ehlangana nedlozi.. 
  UBishilha wathi akalinde, noMprofethi, umalume, uZuhlaika wokugcina. 
• Omunye utshela umyeni wakhe ukuthi angimoshe..   
  Wathi uyinyanga..   
  Wathi wena ilanga..   
  Wathi wena uyiparele..   
  Wathi uyi diamond..   
  Wathi uyikati.   
  Wathi uyinja.   
  Wathi ulungile
• Omunye wesifazane wamcasula umyeni wakhe futhi wanquma ukuziphindiselela kuye.   
  Waqala ukubonisana noSathane, ephakamisa ukuthi uyalithanda icebo alithandayo! Wacabanga elinye icebo.   
  USathane waqhweba wathi, “UNkulunkulu yedwa, ntombi yomthetho, lo ngumyeni wakho.” 
• Yeka ukuthi kuhle kanjani ukuthi indoda nomfazi bahlanganyele imisebenzi yasekhaya.   
  Uyapheka adle.   
  Uyageza agqoke..   
  Alungise umbhede alale.   
  Inkulu indima edlalwa amadoda kodwa abantu besifazane ababongi.  
•  Wafa uMahshashi umfowabo engazi ukuthi athini kumkakhe? Umyeni wakho uthe akakushade..   
  Wathi kuye: “Nkulunkulu, umuntu ofileyo uyangena kimi.”   
  Wathi bawungena oh amadoda.

Amahlaya angenangqondo kakhulu

• UMahshash waphula umnyango wendlu yabo wahamba nawo emgwaqeni.   
  Umuntu uyambuza ukuthi uyaphi? UHoody watshela umbazi emnyango..   
  Wathi mina angisabi ukuthi umuntu uzongena antshontshe umuzi?! Wathi: O mbongolo, angangena kanjani nami emnyango? 
• Baba, ngabe le Corona ngowesifazane noma indoda? NgoNkulunkulu ndodakazi yami, uma nje usathukuthelele umhlaba wonke, uyohlala engowesifazane. 
• Kungani uphuza ikhofi eliningi? Wazi ngani ukuthi umkhulu waphila iminyaka engu-80? Wayephuzelani ikhofi? Cha, ngoba wayemgcine yedwa. 
• Ngangivame ukulahlekelwa mina eRamadan njengomngane wami u-Alantim..   
  Mangaki amakhilogremu kalethisi? Cha, naye wayengenwa amakhaza. 
• Umuntu uthi besibane, safunda sonke saqeda izifundo zethu saqeda..   
  Munye kuphela wethu owahluleka. 
  Futhi sibonga uNkulunkulu namuhla sisebenza sobathathu hluleka.

• UMahshash wantshontsha ucingo lwakhe washayela amaphoyisa.   
  Bamtshela, futhi ungakhathazeki, sizomphendula, noma engaphansi komhlaba.   
  Ebuya emsebenzini ngakusasa, wafica abasebenzi bemba emgwaqeni.   
  Wathi donsani imigilingwane yenu madoda Igalagala elimnyama. 
• Owaba nomfutho omncane waya kumdayisi wathi, "Unayo insipho?" wathi oh..   
  Wathi kuye, awu, geza izandla zakho kahle futhi unginike ibhokisi lobisi. 
• Umuntu uthengele umkakhe inja..
  Ngemva kwezinsuku ezimbili, inja yamluma washona. 
  Umngane wakhe uRaeh Al-Azza wathola amadoda amaningi Oi! Athi wonke amazwe ayeza ukuzoduduza umkakho?! Uthe abezi ukuzothenga inja. 
• Indoda inesikhwele esikhulu ngomkayo, njalo lapho imfonela, imtshela ukuthi, “Uphi?” Usho ekhishini.   
  Uthi, "Kulungile, ake ngizwe umsindo we-mixer futhi ngiwuzwe ukuze ngiqiniseke."   
  Ngelinye ilanga washeshe wabuya, wathola indodana yakhe encane ivula umnyango, yathi, Mama, kuphi? Wathi njengenjwayelo ngathatha iblender ngaphuma. 
• Imabula eyodwa izovakashela umnikazi wayo, yakhala insimbi..   
  Usisi wakhe waphuma ezobona bani.. 
  UMuhammad uthe ikhona? Wathi cha kodwa uma efika ngizosho..   
  Wathi kuye: "Khila, ungicabangile." ngizosaba.

Amahlaya amafushane angenangqondo

• Omunye wafika ekhaya wathola umkakhe elele..   
  Wathi: Makabongwe uNkulunkulu, isiyaluyalu silele.   
  Ngimuzwe, aphendule athi uNkulunkulu makaqalekise abamvusayo. 
• UMahshash waya enkantolo yomndeni..   
  Ijaji liyambuza: “Ushadile?” Ubani owathi ungowesifazane oyedwa? 
  Jaji, ucabanga ukuthi umuntu ushada nendoda?! Wathi, hawu, udadewethu uganwe indoda. 
• Abantu ababili abagxishiwe, omunye uthi komunye, kuzokwenzekani uma omunye ephilile futhi ezithola efile? Owesibili wathi: "Thula ndoda, ungasho lokho. Lona wayekhubazekile." 
• Iselula ithi kumlingani wami womshado ukuthi udivosile..   
  Wathi akamoshe wena nobhalansi esiswini sami. 
• UMastoul wabiza amaphoyisa wawatshela ukuthi athole igazi, imimese, amabhomu kanye nabantu abafile abangu-20!! Bamtshela ukuthi kuphi?? Wathi Hat MBC Action ngokushesha. 
• UMahshash wangena esitolo sezinto zikagesi wathi une-TV enemibala? Wathi ukhona..   
  Wathi ngifuna elibomvu.